The one thing that seems to come up the most is this topic – the feeling of being lonely. And it is one of those topics that can be hard to explain and share with others… maybe it’s because there is such a negative image of who a lonely person is…
Today I was inspired to write by someone else (like most of my blog posts start off!), after reading a blog post by a very talented and popular poet in the London arts scene who felt lonely on his travels… and it reminded me again that loneliness can be experienced by anyone – Over the years, I have had some really amazing talks and consultations with friends, family and clients from all walks of life – many who are talented, successful in their careerss, social and have loving relationships – yet, for many different reasons, they find that they are feeling lonely at some point in their life…
It’s never easy saying “I’m lonely”.
I felt now was time to tackle this topic with some helpful ideas on how to create positive energy when we hit this space and need some inspiration 🙂
Some general tips and ideas on what you can start working on…
Release through communication.
Find someone who you can trust to talk to – it could be a good friend, family member or loved one. If you feel that this may be too personal, maybe consider seeing a counsellor to chat with.
Talking is part of releasing built up emotions. When we don’t release emotions, thoughts and connections that are harmful to us, we can drain our chakras.
Releasing through communication can also be done through writing. As I always say in most of my posts, writing is a fantastic tool for release and to keep track of where you are in your thoughts and gaining more awareness.
Learn to embrace change.
The feeling of isolation or feeling lonely can often come as part of a series of emotions that occur after some sort of change – it could be anything from moving to a new location, being newly single, being in unfamiliar and new surroundings etc. Change is scary. But our resistance to change can also make this feeling of being lonely much more stronger.
Now is the perfect time to reflect on what these changes mean to you and to work on reminding your Self about what good things can be gained by these changes.
Sometimes circumstances throw us to a point where we have to make these changes without choice – and sometimes we have chosen to make these changes because we know it was right for us. Whichever way, change is an opportunity to learn more about who you are and what you want in this new place.
Accept where you are.
Have a good look around, meditate, reflect, write and ask your Self, “Where am I right NOW?”. This is the place you need to work from. This is the space you need to get comfortable with first, in order to figure out what the next stage is. When we accept where we are, we get grounded… we can then move forward with more confidence and less resistance. This resistance stops our energy flow from attracting the good things into our world and drains our energy.
Time to shift the focus…
Let’s read this quoe first that I love so much 🙂
”You will notice that those who speak most of prosperity, have it. Those who speak most of health, have it. Those who speak most of sickness, have it. Those who speak most of poverty, have it. It is Law. It can be no other way…The way you feel is your point of attraction, and so, the Law of Attraction is most understood when you see yourself as a magnet getting more and more of the way you feel. When you feel lonely, you attract more loneliness. When you feel poor, you attract more poverty. When you feel sick, you attract more sickness. When you feel unhappy, you attract more unhappiness. When you feel healthy and vital and alive and prosperous—you attract more of all of those things.”
Energy flow into the Universe and our chakras are very much related to our mind’s focus. By shifting the focus from our emotions of feeling lonely to emotions and areas in our life where we can feel good, we can change our whole system and give out positive energy. Here are a few areas to shift your thoughts to…
- Work with what you have and focus on what there is to be grateful for.
- Focus on giving to others – starting from people in your life and perhaps volunteering or doing something else for others.
- Focus on creative things you used to love doing.
- Be around positive and supportive people.
- Remind your Self that you trust the process and that you will get through it.
- Don’t stay at home, get out there – even if it’s just for a short walk around the block. Fresh air and watching everything around you may make you feel better.
- Get back to an exercise routine, release that stress and negative emotions out and transform it in a good way!
You are an evolving being.
We are in constant change as beautiful evolving complex beings. There may come a point where we naturally outgrow our old belief systems, what we like to do and even the people in our lives. A lot of clients express their loneliness because they no longer feel that their friends and family understand their new ideas of Self and what they want in life. It is natural to feel isolated in these times.
This is very connected to a previous post on the crossroads – read it here.
The good part about growing out of the old belief system and into a new one is that now you are building an energy space to attract new things – and new people into your life.
Attracting a new relationship that is right for you.
Everyone has their own take on what a loving relationship means to them and what is right for them, depending on which stage of their life they are in and past experiences. Some people embrace and love being single – and other people don’t like it. So, the topic of relationships is a huge spectrum that can be difficult to define as being a “right” or “wrong” way – it’s just a matter of what is right for you – where you have a healthy connection with a person and it nurtures your true Self.
If you are single, feel lonely and want to attract a partner to the right type of relationship you want, this is for you!
3 Things to keep in mind…
- Being single is a great opportunity to have space for your own energy work and healing – Being single allows you the space and time to dedicate to your Self only.
- You will attract people who resonate with the energy you are giving out – Work on growing strong in your own energy system and you will attract the right people into your life.
- When you are enjoying life the way you want, you will find the right person to share it with – This comes down to law of attraction again. When you are comfortable and happy in the place you are, you will more likely connect with someone in that same positive energy vibration.
Remember the person you were during good times in your life.
Take a moment to remember a time in your life when you were truly happy. It doesn’t matter why you were happy, just focus on how you treated your Self – Did you smile more? What was your body language like? Where did you like to go or do? What did you wear? How did you take care of your Self? Remember how your relationship with you was and try to re-introduce some of these things back into your life if you haven’t done them in a while. It will take your energy level back to a positive place where you are enjoying your Self once again.
Time to start re-inventing your new Self.
A fun little exercise that you can do to keep your “feel good” energy – Write a letter as if you are already sometime in the near future (maybe 6 months – 1 year from now). Write this letter and go through all the emotions and good things that you now have in your life – the new relationship, friends, activities etc. You don’t need to be specific, as long as you keep it positive with emotions. For example: Instead of writing, “I have £1 million in my bank and it feels great”, you could write “I have attracted and worked for my complete financial security”. By being general, with positive emotions, this letter acts as a reminder and a long affirmation for you to focus on when you are feeling low and need to keep focus. Keep it in a safe place and bring it out when you need that uplift 🙂 Your mind, subconscious and energy will embrace it.
On a positive note, being comfortable with your own company is SO powerful!
So many of us are used to doing things with people that when we find time alone, we feel like it’s not “right” somehow. But there is something amazingly liberating once you take time to appreciate doing things alone! Just that switch in attitude towards your Self makes a huge difference… think of all the places and spaces you can go… you no longer have to rely on others and their opinions to explore things. In fact, a lot of people who take time out alone always tell me that they end up meeting the most interesting people along the way while they were out doing the things they love alone. Being comfortable with taking time out with you is also part of being comfy in your own skin!
Try it! Put your mobile phone down, disconnect from the computer and make a date with your Self to a place you love (art gallery, music event etc) and see how it feels. You might be surprised 🙂
And finally, here is a cute meditation you could try 🙂
The Perfect Meditation – My Healing Cocoon.
There are many times we use white light in our meditation work – sometimes it’s used for protection and other times, it’s a great healing tool that reminds us that we can build our own energy force.
I use the word cocoon fondly, because it reminds me of what it symbolises – think of all the work it takes to go through the butterfly metamorphosis – the amazing transformations that occur at each stage, before the butterfly emerges. In this meditation, we will be inspired by this 🙂
This meditation is simple – Start off in a sitting position, back upright and straight. Take a few minutes to focus on your natural breath patterns and your heart beat.
Then slowly imagine that you have a growing white cocoon spinning its way around you – starting from your feet and working its way up, until it reaches the top of your head and completely surrounds your whole body.
This white cocoon is a safe place, where you growing and healing. Every time you inhale, imagine this white healing energy come inside of your body, cleansing all your stress and breaking through negative emotions – and when you exhale, all the negativity is dispersed into the universe. Take a few moments to focus on this until you are ready to move to the next step.
In the next step, repeat this affirmation:
“I am ready and open to new possibilities in my life”
Keep breathing deeply, enjoying the white light and saying this affirmation.
When you are ready to finish off, feel the cocoon arpund you disperse and lift into the Universe where your energy will rise and grow. And imagine your Self coming out of it, with renewed energy and love.