Everything you need to know about cutting the cord – What is etheric / energy cord-cutting? What are the benefits of it? And what cord-cutting tips you need to know to make this a long-lasting experience!
I want to deep dive into this topic because cord-cutting is something that has become a wonderful practice that many people do – and is an essential tool for empaths and highly sensitive people.
What is etheric energy cord-cutting?
Everything is energy – we are interacting and exchanging energy all the time! Think of our energy system like a ball of energy surrounding us (with all the Chakras flowing within and extending outwards to the energy around us)… Our spider ball of energy is going through life and picking up energy cords through our connections with others, our habits, the places we connect to, even to past lives. This spider web of energy can bring us all kinds of energy cords and it’s a good practice to re-evaluate often.
Not all energy cords are unhealthy. We collect energy cords all the time and they build over our lifetime. They form from our Chakra system and stem outwards. As empaths/HSPs, we might find that we collect many more than others because of our natural heightened sensitive awareness of everything. You will feel and know if these energy cords are healthy and beneficial for you or not – Healthy energy cords will make you feel love, inspired, happy etc and all the emotions we associate with things/people that feel good to us. On the other hand, unhealthy energy cords can leave us feeling the opposite. And it’s not that energy cords always immediately feel one way or the other… sometimes healthy energy cords can turn unhealthy over time too for many reasons (for example a breakdown of a connection to someone, we may have outgrown a connection, there may have been a change… too many factors to list!)
Essentially, cord-cutting is about consciously releasing energy attachments in our own energy system through energy cords that do not serve us or weigh us down. Most people talk about cord-cutting with other people and their connection to them through friendships and relationships – But it can be something that you do with many other energy connections… Like habits, patterns, cycles, memories, situations. As our energy system (especially if you are sensitive to energy and pick up things easily) can build these energy cords over time, this method of releasing can help us move forward on our Self-journey as we evolve and grow.
There are MANY ways to use cord-cutting. Most people do this using meditation and affirmations. However, I first want to share the benefits of this and why cord-cutting is often a challenge for many people. I always hear people saying that cord-cutting does not work for them and I want to share some very important reflections and points on why this might be the case.
⚡️ Benefits of energy cord-cutting
A regular cord-cutting practice may help you to…
- Have more energy and feel lighter with the release
- Find closure to the past
- Face your Shadow Self and any issues that act as barriers in your life
- Develop a meditation and journaling practice
- Take back responsibility and control over your own energy and life
- Connect deeper to your heart and gratitude
- Get to know your own Chakra system on a deeper and more personal level
- Develop trust in your Self-journey
- Develop intuition
This is a form of getting to know our Self that develops and grows. But what if it does not seem to be giving you the results you want? Why is cord-cutting not working for you? Let’s explore some key points below that might be stopping this…
Healthy energy cords = Healthy connections & energy flow
⚡️ Cord-cutting will not work if you don’t acknowledge these vital points…
I feel the same can apply to many law of attraction tools too. The reason why many people find these cord-cutting tools are not working for them is that they approach it without keeping these things in mind…
👉 This is not a one-off quick-fix technique. This is a Self-practice that develops (and grows) over time.
I notice that nowadays there are MANY things that people promise as “a quick way to…” achieve something. This is the world we live in with the “instant culture” approach and fast-result expectations. Sure, sometimes holistic therapies/practices/techniques may get results, but it usually comes as a temporary solution, instead of a long-term sustainable way to achieve results. A classic example is crash dieting where we may lose weight quickly through this form of weight loss… Yet, how many people then put the weight back on after they finish the program? Or are able to continue using this method to keep their weight healthy? Instead, wouldn’t it be more beneficial to have a long-term holistic habit-changing way of approaching our food for good health results? The same applies to energy cord-cutting and many other Self practices. Quick-fix methods or promises that you will instantly cut cords with someone/something may last temporarily but the root of it may still lie in your energy system, ready to grow back those same energy cords.
Approach this like a marathon, not a sprint. Regular practice and watch how this becomes a beautiful Self-development tool!
👉 Are you truly open to change and getting out of your comfort zone?
Change is not easy. I don’t think it ever is for anyone – yet the difference is that the people who move through change with more ease (less resistance) are usually the people who have become comfortable with being really uncomfortable. It requires us to get out of our comfort zone, to be open to experiencing the unknown, our Shadow Self, the possibility of failure and so much more.
Where are you feeling resistance to change? What you resist will persist. The Universe/You-In-Verse will keep putting people, places, situations that will remind us of it. And sometimes when the change is greatest and the pressure of it feels strongest, this is the time when more of the outer world will reflect our deepest fears/doubts to us – and push us to change. For example, A friend I know for many years always said she hated her old job – and over time, more and more things came up in her work environment that triggered her to feel more hate for where she spent most her day in. Until eventually, she faced the situation where her company announced that they were bankrupt and everyone had to leave their job. This is usually how energy works – when we resist something, especially change (and the actions involved), the outer world usually puts forward more things (often gradually increasing in pressure) in our direction to test and challenge us to rise to the hidden opportunity. In this case, it took many years of no action, constant resistance and growing stress at her workplace – She was then forced to find her new job. The good news is, she now loves her new workplace/colleagues and wonders why she didn’t start looking for a new job earlier and before the drastic circumstances had to happen!
Is there ever really “a perfect time” for change? Will we ever feel truly motivated to do new things? Often, this is a false belief system that keeps us stuck in the very place that we are trying to move away from. This is especially true for perfectionists… As moving forward and starting new things will mean that the next step will not always look and feel perfect. Instead, consider this an opportunity to take imperfect actions that will help us all learn.
👉 Surrender (without any expectation) is a way to bring full awareness to what comes up.
Change requires surrender. The problem is we often want to take control of our change by projecting expectations of the outcome. This does not work when you are cord-cutting anything.. Surrendering to a process will allow you to bring awareness to what comes up and this will guide you to what actions or Self-work we need to take as a step forward. One step at a time. And what comes up as an outcome will be exactly what we need for our journey – it may even be much greater than anything we could have initially expected and dreamed of!
What is awareness? Awareness is the key to making any change. And as empaths and highly sensitive people, we will naturally have a heightened sense of what is going on (even when it is not our own journey!) and can tap into our intuition. When we use our awareness in the right way, we can rediscover our Self again by holding space for what needs to be revealed. This is often when we may experience synchronicity as a guide towards our next step. And it all begins by tuning into our Neutral Mind (click here to read more on this), asking our Self what we feel/think and allowing whatever thoughts or reactions to come up during cord-cutting. Thoughts are an energy form so there is no need to try to quieten them down – Instead, let them breathe… let them come up and observe how/what you are experiencing at the moment, with no attachment (even when it is challenging).
👉 Trust in your Self and the timing of each stage.
How much do you trust the process? Or your Self? The last point leads to this important one because it can be that our biggest obstacle is that we don’t trust what we don’t know… We don’t trust that we are doing the “right thing” during the change and cord-cutting… We don’t know where it may lead us… We don’t know what change really means until we experience it. Uncertainty will ask us to question our trust in our Self and the way we are embracing on. That’s ok!
The time to let go and surrender again. Just as we mentioned before, keep surrendering. Just be present to where you are now. The obstacle of trust is usually during the times when we are so focused on the next stage that we forget to be here now, to soak up all the lessons – and even enjoy this moment. There is no rush, there is no need to push forward – keep doing your cord-cutting actions and dive in fully to each part of it… The stage you are now is where you need to be.
👉 Release the expectation of what the other person will do and stay focused on your own energy.
Many of us have used energy cord-cutting to release old ties to people – past or present. For whatever reason, you may still feel that there are a connection and attachment there. It could be from a break-up, a toxic relationship and friendship or someone who just doesn’t feel right for you. There are a lot of energy vampires out there, as many of us empaths/HSPs have experienced in the past!
We can only ever take responsibility for our own energy. What the other person does or doesn’t do is theirs. I say this because there have been times (in my own journey and when working with clients) where there is trigger when the other person we want to release in our energy system then shows up in a way that we thought they “should not” be doing/reacting/etc… Again, there is an element of expectation of the outcomes and the other here, instead of the surrender. I hold my hand up and admit that for me it was usually because there was a level of expectation that the other person would be/do things the way I wanted and expected as part of the results. Why did cord-cutting not work? Because I was not focusing on my own responsibility to my own energy – I was putting my energy into expectations of the other. Energy flows where attention goes – I needed to focus on me. Releasing requires surrender and the acknowledgement that the other person will be responsible for their own actions/reactions.
When cord-cutting with other people, we might experience more tests and challenges first. I notice that whenever there is change, there is also more triggers from the Universe/You-in-Verse to challenge us to our decisions… This also includes how the other person reacts and shows up. It is tempting to say that the cord-cutting is not working because of this and give up – when in actual fact, this is EXACTLY what is needed. I have had times in my life when people I am releasing and haven’t seen in my life suddenly reappear – or when my clients try cord-cutting and the opposite expectations happen. At these times, we need to ask our Self: Am I going to stick to my choice to release? Or am I going to give up?
👉 Shadow Self exploration is part of the journey, not spiritual bypassing.
We can’t avoid talking about the Shadow Self here! The parts of our Self that we might be avoiding, unable to see clearly or simply wish to bypass. This is connected to the topic of spiritual bypassing – Click here to read a great article on this! If we want cord-cutting to work, we also need to be honest and open to diving deeply into our deepest fears, doubts, emotions and barriers that are connected to the releasing we want in cord-cutting.
What we are trying to cut cords with can often be a reflection of our deeper Shadow Self issues. The spider’s energy web gets thicker! As everything in our outer world is directly or indirectly to our inner world, maybe what we are trying to cut cords with is exactly reflecting back a part of our Self that we need to work on – turning the focus inwardly and seeing what lessons come up.
What is this person/habit/memory/place/etc guiding me to look at? Even in the toughest of situations with the most toxic people and connections, we can find a way to channel it in a way that will eventually release it. It actually becomes much easier to do cord-cutting when we first look at some of our deeper issues first.
An example from a client who faced his Shadow Self while doing cord-cutting work: This man was a loving person, an empath/ HSP and loved to build connections. Yet he would always attract friends who only ever wanted to connect with him when they needed something – whether it was an hour to unburden their issues and problems to him, to ask for a favour, to ask for money or other things (where the energy felt one-sided) – Yet these same people were never around for him when he needed something. When diving deeper in Shadow Self and seeking a positive lesson, he realised that he had to work on his Self-value in creating healthy boundaries, to learn to express his needs and to not be drawn to the classic empath trait of “the need to be needed” by others. He then went on to shift these things within, which resulted in him in making changes in the way he related to others. Some of the same people stayed and accepted the changes in the energy dynamics and some naturally left because they didn’t like the new way of connecting to him (which made cord-cutting much easier to do). He then went on to manifest/create better connections – and it all started with facing the Shadow work reflections within, instead of channelling it outwardly at the people he wanted to release cords with.
Shadow work may mean asking for help. This is a big one for many empaths and HSPs. When we are in the thick of our own issues, we may need someone else to shed some light into what we are going through. This could be a friend or someone to talk to. For many, this could also mean talking to a therapist to uncover and release what we may not always want to face about our Self. If you are getting overwhelmed and this is not something you feel you can work on your Self, I highly recommend sharing it.
A good way to start looking at your Shadow Self is through journaling. I find that many people gain great awareness of their thoughts, patterns and Shadow Self through doing daily journaling. It helps to release what is inside and also to keep track. Looking back at our journal writing, we can also start to piece and observe parts of our Self that we didn’t always acknowledge.
Instead of fearing and avoiding the shadows, let’s play with them, get familiar with them, speak to them, build a conversation and let it speak back to us.
🦋 4 STEPS TO CORD-CUTTING
There are different ways to do cord-cutting… Research, look up different ways online and see what feels right for you. Let me offer my thoughts on how I best like to work with my energy healing clients when hey want to get long-lasting results. This can be done for a number of reasons – for energy cords to a person, a habit, a memory – even a past lifetime experience!
☀️ Get to the root of when the energy cord first started…
Where did it all begin for you? Let’s take it to the root because from there we can start to see why/how the energy cords started. For example, if it is a person you want to release, when did you first connect with them? If it is a habit you developed, what is your earliest memory of starting this and where did it stem from? Ask your Self and take your time in piecing together the root memories, feelings, reasons etc that seeded within your energy system. You can explore this by using visualisation and journalling your thoughts.
☀️ Walk your Self through the journey and observe how it developed over time…
Now, take your Self further down the line… Again, still observing how it is starting to grow. Using the same examples above, what did your connection build into (for a person) or what did it mean for you (for a habit)? Pick key moments throughout your journey where there were turning points, realisations and changes in your energy attachment to what you want to release. Keep exploring through visualisation, taking your Self back to the experience each time and ask your Self: How am I feeling now? Where do I feel it in my body? Does this feel good to me or not (and why)? Use your journal to write and release, especially the challenging thoughts and feelings.
What lessons did you learn from your connection? Finding closure may help if we focus on what we learned about our Self throughout the connection, even if if it was heartbreaking and difficult. In the middle of any confusion and challenging thoughts/emotions, how can we direct that energy into making sure that we acknowledge our own strength and lessons for the future? Can we acknowledge the things we still need to work on within our Self? How deep are you ready to explore your Shadow Self to clear out what needs to be shed?
☀️ Find a ritual or meditation that engages with your senses to release…
What sense impacts you the most? Use it in your releasing ritual. We all have senses that we find easier to engage with… Maybe you are visual person or you find hearing/sound to impact you more. What sense do you feel most connected to? And find a releasing ritual to work with it. I say this because engaing with our body’s energy is also very important in releasing. For example: A visual person could connect with colours and deeper techniques of visualisation to see the energy cords being cut – A person who enjoys their sense of smell may find it releasing to use sage and essential oils to cleanse the energy – A Person who loves sound can engage with music, gongs/crystal bowls and Chakra tuning sounds to release. This takes time and exploration. If you have tried a similar technique in the past for other things and liked it, maybe start to see if there is something similar to work with.
☀️ Create a regular practice of doing it often and track your progress…
One of the important points is patience! Track your Self over time, do your releasing rituals regularly, journal and know that it might not happen overnight. Most timres, we can’t see our own growth until the future, so baby steps always count.