The topic of relationships has always been a hot and popular one for discussion. Over our lifetime, most of us will have experienced many different types of relationships, not just romantic ones.
The definition of a relationship, in energy terms, is simply about that energy connection you make with the people in your life. It also refers to our energy cords that extend from various chakras and connect with others in our life (past and present – even future!). For example: An employer and employee will most probably have an energy cord connection mainly related to the root chakra – the area for our material world/life (jobs, home location, money flow etc).
So, coming from the view that we are constantly connecting (and creating) energy cords on many levels, the romantic relationship is probably one of the most intimate and stronger connections that we will have with another person… especially if all our chakras have aligned and created cords with the other person. No matter how long or how intense your romantic relationship is/was, your energy cords will guide you to how you can move forward (with or without the other person involved).
This post is mainly to do with a romantic relationship breakup – however, this can also probably be applied to any form of break up where you have connected on any level to another person and need to move on. Every relationship is unique and different so this is a general reflection post… Here are some reflection questions and tips that you can go through (in your own time and you can team it up with your meditation/yoga/reflection/journal work)… and hopefully, with time and Self healing, it will get easier!
Ask Your Self…
Reflection Question 1: What lessons did I learn about my Self?
Every relationship we have, especially on a romantic level, is there to teach us about our Self – through lessons (both good and bad) that will help us grow and expand. We attract and reflect elements of our Self in our relationships.
Therefore, no matter how terrible the break-up/reason/person was. you can learn something valuable about who you are now. Channel your hurt/anger/etc emotions in a positive way and reflect on what it is that you can take from this experience in order to move forward.
We can only ever be responsible for our own actions/reactions to other people/situations/circumstances in our life. Work and channel your energy in a positive way and let the other person be responsible for their own.
Reflection Question 2: What patterns keep coming up?
So, we have spotted the lessons that we have learned through our previous relationship… now we need to reflect on patterns that have come up in the past. For example: “I keep attracting the type of guy/girl who loves spending time at home and this was always an issue because I love to go out!”.
I have come to see patterns in a very simple way: If you keep attracting/being drawn to relationships/anything in life where a negative pattern keeps coming up, it will only ever go away when you spot it and change the way you (energy) connect with it. It’s like the Universe’s way of telling you that you still need to work on a certain area of your Self.
The thing is, most patterns can often be so subtle that we don’t realise it until we consciously make the effort to sit down and reflect on the common factors/patterns that worked against our true Self/journey in our previous relationships.
And sometimes, these patterns were not “bad” for us at the time – but we now may find that they no longer serve who we are now and for our future. We grow and expand as energy/spiritual beings. Some patterns may need to change because of this.
It’s time to get really honest with your Self – For regular reflection work (yoga, meditation, etc)… What common patterns came up in most of your recent previous relationships? And what patterns no longer serve you for the future?
Reflection Question 3: How can I let him/her go?
Time is a healer. If we look at things through an energy point of view again (and through the cords we create), it does take time to release the energy cords you create with anyone/anything. Sometimes, we might never fully release them – depending on the nature of the relationship and the lessons we find. And the more energy connected we were with the other person, the harder it can be to release them as the energy cords might have built up into really strong ones!
As well as time, I am a believer in making space in our life for being alone/single after each relationship break-up. This is part of the releasing process – think of it like an energy detox from your previous relationship! 🙂 This time alone is space for you to naturally confront any issues within your Self as the detox process happens. And like all detox periods (like nutrition detox programs etc), it can throw up some stuff that we were holding on to and the “toxins” need to be shown before the good effects can happen. It is also a good space to re-learn how to be alone, which can be scary if you’re not used to it!
It may be tempting to jump in straight away into another connection with a new person (not necessarily for a long-term thing, “rebound” style etc) – and it may work for many people, we are all different! But, regardless of the next step, consciously working on releasing your old cords first is so important… And it is usually a lot easier to do this when you don’t create new romantic/sexual energy cords with other people in the process!
Cord cutting meditation and information: I found this great video that explains more about the cords on a general level – and you can try an energy cord cutting meditation that I posted up a while ago here.
Reflection Question 4: How can I move forward to attract another positive relationship?
To simplify some words of wisdom I was once given that stuck to me: When you are doing, working towards and loving the life you are leading and taking time to love your Self fully through actions, you will attract the right people to you. This is a general rule – it can also be applied to relationships I think.
Now is the perfect time to channel your Self and explore new things in your life! Our emotional energy centres can easily be balanced by creativity… in all forms, not just through the traditional sense (art etc). So, it is a good time to ask your Self: What new activities can you start/go back to help you express your Self? It may require you to get out of your comfort zone (which in its Self can be a little uncomfortable to begin with!), but it will help expand your energy connections to Self and others around you.
Reflection Question 5: How long should I leave it before I start dating again?
When you are ready and you have released all/most of the energy cords from your past relationship, you will know when it is time! You need to trust your Self on this one! If you have been doing most of the work (on cord cutting, releasing, taking in lessons and getting back to doing the things *you* love in life – exploring your Self fully) you will arrive at a point where you will be energetically open to a new relationship.
Until that moment… take each day as it comes, listen to your body (if it needs rest or to cry, do so!), surround your Self with things/people you love, release by writing and creativity, actively reflect on the above points – and before you know it, you will find your Self moving forward – naturally! 🙂