How to make new friends… It’s not always easy, especially as an adult. As empaths, our connections with others also tend to be much deeper as we sense the energy more. Let me share my thoughts on this with you!
It’s not an easy answer. This is a deeply personal thing and everyone reading this will have their own unique experiences, preferences and intentions for the friendship connections .
I recommend exploring for your Self! As this is such a personal thing, I definitely think it s all about investing time and effort to get out… to meet people and be in places that inspire you. Let me share some general holistic tips that will keep you connected to your heart and energy! See what feels right for you.
It’s good to keep open to new connections, even if you already have a tribe! It can be so easy to just let it all go… When we get comfortable and love the people we have in our life to the point we forget to be open to new possibilities. As we are also growing and expanding, it’s important to keep our awareness to this!
OK, all that being said, let me share general observations and holistic tips that might point you in the right direction – To start flying in the right direction!
5 Tips to be inspired and explore!
All of these tips can apply to anyone and at anytime when you feel the need to make new friends. I suggest reading this with a journal, so that you can also jot down some initial thoughts from the tips/reflection questions.
🌟 Trust your intuition…
This is a wonderful opportunity to connect with your intuition. You have all the tools within you to be guided to the right people, in the right places, at any given time. The problem with today’s society, is that we are not able to tune into our instinct as much as we used to. This could be because we are often very busy, we are often distracted (by so much stimulation in our modern lifestyle), because we have a social media and because we generally expect answers to come straight away. Working with our intuition may take longer than to fine-tune, but I find that the results are much more long-lasting!
I like to do a very simple exercises when I want to use my intuition and listen to my inner voice. This can apply to anything – especially if I am thinking about what to do. Before I start reflecting on what/where is the next step, I set the intention of being open… Sounds simple, right? But you will be surprised how little we often really LISTEN and stay OPEN as we go through our daily life. To do this, I start by saying a positive affirmation and connect with my heart – An easy affirmation: “I am open to allowing my Self to go where I am guided…” – Then, I start my day. And throughout the day, I remember this and ask my Self questions as things come up – even with the most random small things (“Does my body want tea or coffee?” etc). Awareness is key – Observe what comes up in your mind and body when you ask your Self questions. It sometimes takes time to get used to doing this as a habit – but it gets easier.
How does this help in meeting people? Once you are used to tuning in to your inner voice, you can then go and use it to choose places and listen to what feels right for you. And when you do meet people, you can actively have an inner dialogue with your intuition about the connection you are having to others.
Try it today! Let’s say you want to choose an event to go to this weekend and you are not sure what to do, start by tapping into your intuition (as I shared above) and then do your search… As things come up, ask your Self if you feel drawn to go to this place or that place… (For Barcelona friends reading this, I have event links at the bottom of this blog post for your search!)
What *FEELS* good to you? This is the most instant feedback you will get from your body. Does this place or person make you feel relaxed and inspired? Or drained and anxious? … This is part of managing your energy. Your body and heart Vs your mind chatter will let you know! Then you won’t waste time focusing on what does not feel good and what doesn’t suit you.
Instinct usually has no logical explanation. This is the part that can be confusing… We may feel like doing something, even when here is no “evidence” of why. Trust me when I say that the logical part usually comes afterwards – maybe not straight away, but when the time is right you will know why! This is a deep exercise in Self trust.
✅ Tips & Reflection Q’s:
- Think about the top 5 places and people you connect to now (from work, college, etc).
- How did you meet this person or find this place?
- Do they inspire you?
🌟 Be prepared to get out of your comfort zone and share…
Getting out if your comfort zone is not going to make you feel comfortable! This is good to link with the 1st point on intuition, because we might often mistake it as a a negative gut feeling when it is really a healthy fear-of-the-unknown.
A good reminder: The feeling of Fear-of-the-unknown may seem like anxiousness (and other challenging emotions), but is often excitement in disguise! The rawest version of excitement too. If you are trying to tune into your intuition and you feel this energy, ask your Self what it would feel like if you went ahead and did it anyway… Would it make you FEEL happy to have explored it? See what comes up.
✅ Tips & Reflection Q’s:
- What scares you most about going to a new place or meeting a new person?
- What activities or classes would you like to do (that also scare you)?
🌟 Get clear about what connection means to you…
Get to know your Self by being honest about what makes you feel connection. The more you are connected to your Self, the more likely you are to attract the right people in your life.
So, what type of connection do you love to have with people and places now? It’s good to ask this question because we might change over the years. For example: Maybe once you liked to have quick and fast paced connections with everything, whereas now you value having a closer and tighter group of people/places to share with. Maybe you used to like people who inspired you in one area of your life, but now prefer people to share other interests etc. It’s good to get clear about what “turn you on” (in energy-terms!) about who/what you surround your Self with.
✅ Tips & Reflection Q’s:
- What does the perfect place or event FEEL like to you?
- What do you value in friendships and in people?
- Do you like big or small groups of people?
- What environment makes you feel open and happy to share with others?
🌟 Don’t be afraid to do things alone…
YES! this is where you are the MOST open to meeting and experiencing your Self – and new people/places. Some people like it, others are used to it and some people avoid it! But it is safe to say that this is the best way to make connections.
The funny thing is, you are more likely to attract new friends this way. For example: Solo travellers usually don’t stay solo throughout their whole trip because they end up meeting people along the way, even if it is a quick conversation at a random place with the person witting next to you. As a solo person at any event, other people (maybe even other solo explorers) will find this easier to connect with you. Again, trust your instinct about what/who comes your way!
An opportunity to enjoy being BY YOUR SELF. This is part of getting comfortable with who we are too… not just with you/what we connect with. Do something today that you will enjoy! Maybe it’s time to take your Self out for a treat, even if you already have friends/family/partner.
✅ Tips & Reflection Q’s:
- When was the last time you did something alone?
- What challenges do you have with doing things alone? And how can you overcome them?
- What do enjoy doing alone? And what can you do more of?
🌟 Exploring new places and events…
There are many sources to find places where you can explore new events and meet new people. I will dive straight in now and share the ones I love to use the most…
- MeetUp.com: Most places and cities on the planet will have a MeetUp group happening in something you love to do. I think this is an amazing website to connect with people/places/events that you want to explore. Well worth joining – and it is free for people searching events.
- Language & skills exchange: Maybe you want to learn a new language, skill or share your English with potential new friends (extra helpful if you moved abroad)? The way it usually works is that you meet someone in a public setting (like a cafe) and spend half the time speaking in one language and the other half in the other language – If it is a skill, then you exchange skills. There are usually many websites and Facebook groups set up for this – Both for one-to-one meetings or large group meet ups. You will probably find this on MeetUp.com too!
- Facebook groups: Another easy place to discover new places/people is by searching Facebook groups in your area for an activity you like.
To be honest, I prefer this approach – especially towards my personal life. I love the concept of Hygge... This is one of my favourite words to explain what I personally value in connection. It describes that consciously cozy, feeling well-being, in-the-moment, intentional, positive feeling you have with your Self, a person or a place… The simple things and being full of inspiration. I usually get this from most places that has anything to do with creativity, health, yoga and food! That yum-yum factor.